OCA strives to be a safe place for all members to recover. Tradition One reminds us that our common welfare comes first; personal recovery depends on OCA unity.

Interactions that feel aggressive, sexual, discriminatory, or otherwise unsafe—whether in meetings or in recovery-related interactions outside of meetings—can undermine that safety and do not align with OCA’s purpose. This includes behavior that takes advantage of real or perceived power imbalances, such as those that may exist in sponsorship or other service relationships.

OCA’s primary purpose is to carry the message of recovery to those who still suffer. Safety, boundaries, and respectful conduct help ensure that our fellowship remains focused on recovery and accessible to all members.

Note: For some members, OCD can involve worries about being “bad” or causing harm. This guidance is intended to support awareness and safety, not feed self-scrutiny or rumination. If reading it increases anxiety, reaching out to a trusted member, sponsor, or service contact for guidance is encouraged.
 

 
Supporting Safety in Meetings

     
OCA meetings are recovery-focused spaces. While we do not censor or police members, shared guidelines help support safety, respect, and focus.

Members are encouraged to:
 

• Share from their own experience and avoid cross talk, advice-giving, or commentary on others’ shares (unless the format allows)

• Keep shares recovery-focused and mindful of shared time
   

 
Regarding private messages and direct contact:
 

• Private messages during meetings should be limited to practical or recovery-related communication, unless explicitly invited

• Unsolicited or personal private messages—such as comments on appearance or emotionally intense check-ins—may feel intrusive

• Privately requesting personal details (for example, where someone lives or their schedule) can feel different from what is freely shared in open fellowship, especially when those details were not offered voluntarily

• Aggressive or discriminatory communication should never take place

• Boundaries should be respected if someone does not respond, declines contact, or asks for space
  
   

Some other general guidelines for meetings can set the stage for success. We strongly encourage all meetings to include the following verbiage in their scripts:

Phone calls are a great way to connect with a potential sponsor. We encourage you to reach out and exchange phone numbers with members whose shares you resonated with today.
     
A gentle note for those who are new to OCA: Inappropriate behavior such as Thirteenth stepping which refers to manipulating another person in recovery—particularly a newcomer—into a sexual or romantic relationship, or for financial gain, is strongly discouraged here. If you experience or are approached with behavior that feels unsafe or inappropriate, we encourage you to speak with a service member you trust.
     
We suggest all members learn more by checking out the Safety in OCA page on our website at obsessivecompulsiveanonymous.org.

Other guidelines include:

• Utilizing waiting rooms

• Requesting that newcomers and members calling in by phone verbally introduce themselves

• Chairpersons and/or other meeting supports familiarizing themselves with security features of Zoom and phone meeting dashboards 

 
 
 
Healthy Outreach and Friendship in OCA
 

Connection is an important part of recovery, and many members form supportive friendships through outreach, meetings, and shared service. 

Healthy recovery connections are mutual, respectful, and centered on recovery and support. Boundaries can become blurred when connection shifts away from recovery support toward pressure, dependency, secrecy, or blurred roles.

Vulnerability is not limited to newcomers. Members may be especially vulnerable due to trauma history, health or mental health challenges, grief, major life transitions, or power dynamics related to sponsorship or service.

Because of this, extra care is encouraged in certain circumstances, including:
 

• During the early stages of recovery, when stability and support systems are still forming (often the first one to two years)

• Within sponsor–sponsee, cosponsor, or service relationships

• During periods of acute vulnerability, such as grief, serious illness, relapse, housing or financial instability, or major life changes

• When trauma is untreated or newly emerging

• When a connection begins to replace broader support or creates emotional dependency
  
   

In a healthy recovery dynamic:
 

• Communication feels balanced and primarily recovery-focused

• Boundaries are respected without pressure or the need for justification

• There is no expectation of exclusivity, secrecy, or emotional reliance

• Either person can slow down, step back, or say no without fear of consequences

• Support encourages broader connection within OCA rather than isolation
  
   

Friendship and outreach should feel grounding and supportive, not confusing or overwhelming. If a connection begins to feel pressured, emotionally intense, or difficult to set boundaries around, it may be helpful to pause and speak with a trusted member or service contact.

A gentle note: While it’s true that meaningful romantic relationships sometimes develop in recovery spaces, they are not the purpose of these spaces. Twelve Step fellowships foster a shared language, as well as profound understanding of ourselves and our fellows. Deep friendships and partnerships can arise in our recovery journeys as a result. However, it is important to keep in mind that shared vulnerability can add complexity, so approaching these connections slowly and with attention to recovery and safety can be helpful. 
 
 
 
Sponsors, Cosponsors, and Boundaries
 

A sponsor or cosponsor should never make romantic or sexual advances toward a sponsee under any circumstance. Romantic or sexual involvement—whether expressed or implied—compromises the integrity of the recovery relationship and can cause harm. It is the responsibility of a sponsor to recognize the power dynamics inherent to the role and ensure appropriate behavior. Working with a sponsor or sponsee to whom there is attraction is discouraged in order to maintain healthy boundaries. 

At the same time, many members form friendships through outreach, meetings, and shared service. Over time, some of these relationships naturally grow beyond recovery and may include broader conversation, shared interests, or time spent together outside of meetings. This sometimes includes sponsorship that evolves over a long period of time into mutual friendship.
  
Healthy friendships—whether solely recovery-focused or more expansive—are mutual, respectful, and grounded in choice rather than pressure. They do not rely on secrecy, exclusivity, or emotional intensity, and they allow space for either person to slow down, set boundaries, or step back without consequence.

If the person making you uncomfortable is your sponsor or cosponsor, speaking with another trusted member who does not have a personal relationship with them can be an important first step. You may change sponsors at any time, for any reason. An appropriate sponsor will not take this personally. An inappropriate one may pressure you to maintain the relationship. If that occurs, you do not have to deal with it alone and are encouraged to seek mediation if you do not feel safe. 

It is also important to recognize that inappropriate behavior is not always overt. Subtle or gradual boundary violations may include, but are not limited to:
 

• Excessive or increasingly personal contact outside of recovery-related topics

• Sharing intimate personal information unrelated to sponsorship or recovery, especially early in the relationship and occurring rapidly

• Framing the relationship as “special,” exclusive, or emotionally intimate beyond sponsorship 

• Encouraging secrecy or discouraging discussion with others

• Requests to meet in-person privately that are inconsistent with the purpose of relationship (i.e. at an unsecured location or anywhere you can not receive help should you need it, planning a long-distance visit to your home or theirs, offers to stay in their home as a form of assistance, or meeting for a purpose other than step work or recovery)

• Physical closeness or touch that feels unnecessary or uncomfortable

• Minimizing or dismissing concerns when discomfort is expressed

• Implying mutual responsibility for blurred boundaries

• Utilizing formal training to diagnose, influence, coerce, or as a means of creating dependence
  
   

This applies to all recovery relationships, with particular attention to sponsorship and outreach with newcomers. If an interaction feels confusing, pressured, or unsafe—even if it is difficult to explain—those feelings matter and deserve attention.

Further information regarding sponsorship can be found in our “Sponsorship in OCA” resources. 
 

 
Responding to Inappropriate Behavior
 

During a meeting
 

• Speak up if you feel safe doing so.

• Ask that the behavior stop, for example:
  “I feel uncomfortable with what was just said/done and ask that members refrain from aggressive, sexual, or discriminatory comments.”

• If speaking aloud feels difficult, send a private message to the chair or another trusted member and ask them to address it.

• If inappropriate private messages occur, you may set a clear boundary:
  “This is making me uncomfortable. Please stop.”

• If there is uncertainty, a group conscience may be requested.
   

Outside of a meeting
 

• Let the person know their behavior is inappropriate and ask that it stop.

• Take distance as needed by ending the call, leaving the space, or not responding to messages.

• You do not have to handle this alone.
  
   

After an Incident
 

• Talk with a trusted person such as a sponsor, meeting chair, trusted fellow, therapist, or spiritual advisor.

• Writing and sharing a Tenth Step inventory with a trusted fellow may help clarify what happened and identify next actions.

• Seeking guidance from a higher power (for example, through prayer or meditation) may also be helpful.
  
   

If you feel safe doing so, you may address the behavior directly or ask a trusted member to assist or act as a neutral third party. In some cases, temporarily cutting off contact may be the healthiest option.

When safety concerns arise — and in some cases, legal concerns — members may seek appropriate support or outside assistance. Documenting any incidents or communication is suggested if the matter is serious enough to report to legal authorities.
 
 
 
Actions a Group Can Take

 
Groups are encouraged to discuss safety proactively and establish protocols through group conscience. These may include, but are not limited to:
 

• Reading a safety statement when inappropriate behavior occurs

• Designating a service role or trusted service members to support affected members

• Establishing clear boundaries or responses for inappropriate or repeated behavior, which may include:
   

  • Asking a member to stop a specific behavior

  • Limiting direct contact between members

  • Requiring communication to go through a service member

  • Asking a member to step away from service roles or meeting attendance for a period of time

  • Using a graduated response for repeated inappropriate behavior (such as a two- or three-step process), with stepping away from meetings for a defined period used only as a last resort
    
     

If a group has not established a protocol when an incident occurs, a group conscience may be held to determine appropriate next steps.
 

 
When the Issue Requires Broader Support

 
There may be instances when an individual or group is unsure how to proceed. This may be needed when:
 

• There is confusion regarding guidelines, relevant traditions, or other information

• Concerns exist around potential power dynamics (i.e. the offending individual’s service roles or personal relationships that may contribute to bias)

• There is an individual offering paid services or attempting to manipulate any member for financial gain

• The individual experiencing inappropriate behavior feels safer speaking to a fellow in a higher level of service

• Attempts to address the behavior on an individual or group level have been unsuccessful 
   

In these cases, our Safety Committee is happy to assist. All fellows are welcome to reach out to one of our facilitators.
 
 
 
Regarding Anonymity

 
In OCA, we practice anonymity and confidentiality whenever possible, however, anonymity exists to protect members and support recovery, not to protect behavior that causes harm or prevent appropriate safety responses.

When safety is at risk, a member’s identity may be shared within the fellowship when necessary to prevent harm, support affected members, or enable responsible service action. Any use of identity should be necessary, limited, accurate, and appropriate to the actions required to address concerns. In rare cases, it may be necessary to share the identity of a member on a wider scale within the fellowship or with legal authorities. 

OCA distinguishes between firsthand experiences and secondhand information.

Firsthand experiences may be shared freely when relevant to safety. Concerns based on secondhand information require additional care and should be brought to a service member rather than broadly shared or treated as established fact.

Members may experience genuine concern even when information is incomplete. In such cases, members are encouraged to pause, limit disclosure, and seek guidance from a service member. Broad or repeated sharing of identities or unverified claims, even when motivated by good-faith concern, can cause harm.
 
 

What if I’m not sure?

 
If something feels off and you’re unsure whether it rises to the level of a safety concern, it’s okay to pause. You don’t need certainty to ask for support. If a situation feels confusing, pressured, or uncomfortable, that’s enough to reach out—you don’t have to handle it alone.


 
Together, We Keep OCA a Safe Place to Recover


In OCA, we understand how overwhelming it can feel to wonder if we’re doing something “wrong”. It’s easy to slip into obsessive questioning of our ethics and lose sight of what is a legitimate concern. Again, if reading this causes anxiety, feel free to discuss it with a sponsor or trusted fellow. 

Most guidelines in Twelve Step fellowships are fairly simple. We keep our communication focused on our own experience and avoid singling out other members, either directly or indirectly. We also aim to treat one another with respect and care in recovery-related interactions outside of meetings. 

Remember: we are all different. What feels acceptable to one person may feel unsafe to another. It’s helpful to communicate clearly and be willing to hear others. 

If someone lets us know that our words or behavior caused harm, we pause, reflect,  seek guidance, and consider appropriate amends, taking care not to cause further harm. By respecting boundaries, speaking up when something feels off, and supporting one another with care and accountability, we help keep OCA a safe place for everyone to recover.


 

Need Support or Have a Safety Concern?

If you have concerns related to safety, boundaries, harassment, anonymity, sponsorship relationships, disruptive behavior, or other fellowship-related issues, you may contact any of the designated Safety Contacts below via call or text by clicking or tapping their name. To use email instead, use our contact form.
 

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Confidentiality and Privacy

We understand that reaching out about a safety concern can feel vulnerable. OCA strives to handle concerns with care, respect, and discretion.
 

Information shared with a Safety Contact will be treated as confidential whenever possible. However, Safety Contacts are not independent counselors or investigators, and concerns may need to be shared with other designated members of the Safety Committee when doing so is necessary to understand a situation, provide support, determine an appropriate response, or help protect the safety of members and groups.
 

Information is shared only on a need-to-know basis and with the goal of respecting the privacy and dignity of everyone involved. Safety Committee members are expected to maintain confidentiality regarding sensitive matters discussed in the course of their service.
 

While the committee makes every effort to protect privacy, absolute confidentiality cannot be guaranteed. In some circumstances, information may need to be shared with trusted servants, group representatives, or other appropriate committee members in order to address a concern affecting the fellowship.
 

Members are encouraged to share only the information they feel comfortable sharing and are welcome to ask questions about the process at any time.